Embracing One

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite playtime activities was playing house.  I was the mommy and on a good day, I could talk my brother into playing the daddy. Most of the time though, I was a “single” mom.  I would make mud pies, rock my babies, feed them, etc.  As girls get older, we dream of weddings and married life.  Perhaps it’s because it was modeled to us by our own mothers or the stories of princesses and happily every after.  The thoughts and expectations of our lives, even though it’s our plan, doesn’t always come to pass.  There are those that for whatever reason, marriage or family never materializes.  It can be a huge disappointment if that how our life was supposed to play out.  

Society projects the need to be coupled up on us. Media, dating sites, and well-meaning friends have ideas of the perfect person that could make life so much better. I wonder how many times people “settle” because of that need to have someone.  Not having the right person can make a long existence.  King Solomon in two separate places had this to say: “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:19, and “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24. Obviously, King Solomon was a peacemaker.  He sought not to argue or have discord in his household.  I wonder if he had a mancave?

 Why is our society so caught up with being in a couple relationship? Why is being single looked down upon or worse pitied?  There are those people who really, really need to have a significant other in their life. My step father is one of those. He married my mother nine months after his first wife died.  Within three months after my own mother died, he has developed a relationship with someone new and plans to remarry very soon and move away.  Some people are just miserable alone.

 Almost three years ago, I found myself single after my husband died. While it has been a huge adjustment, I’ve learned that navigating as a single person has been a wonderful experience. I enjoy the freedom of a schedule that is my own.  I can suddenly change my agenda and it doesn’t affect anyone else.  I can be spontaneous and jump into a new adventure without any discussion or debate.

 Being single has also allowed me to grow in new ways and experience opportunities that otherwise would not have been possible.  It comes down to being content in life.  When a person’s view is “I have enough”, then enough is a full life.  Lack comes from the thoughts that there is something missing.  If there is nothing missing, then why is there a need to have more? The gifts that come when a person is living in abundance is so satisfying there is no need for anything more. 

 I enjoyed being in a committed relationship, growing a family, and nurturing those around me.  There are wonderful benefits of having someone significant to love and care for, but it’s not for everyone.  There is a sense of match making that goes on between family and friends.  There are those who really enjoy “playing cupid” by trying to get like people together.  If someone is single, perhaps that person is full and satisfied solo. The grass often looks better on the other side of the fence, but I can tell you I know many married couples who are miserable, and I know some single people who are unhappy as well. Happiness is an inside job.  No one person can provide bliss or will bring the contentment or the joy you deserve.  Those thoughts of lack or not enough is where discontentment begins. Change those thoughts and suddenly, there is abundance and joy.  We should not impose our own desires on those around us.  God has a plan for each person.  Each of us have a purpose to make this world a better place in some way, regardless whether married or single. I’ve been able to cultivate new friendships and re-activate friendships with people in my life that I previously thought I didn’t have time for.  I’ve found people who fill in those areas that I thought I would feel “lack” in.  Be okay to be single.  I’ve been both married and single, and I can tell you there is a lot of freedom in singleness!  Embrace where you are and find joy and contentment in the awareness of abundance.

 Health bite:  Embrace singleness with an abundant life.

That "To Do" List...

Our society today is busy and rushed.  There are so many tasks to be completed, we often come up short at the end of the day.  That “to do list” is never quite done before more items are added to it.  The stress and busyness ensue.  If one is not careful, the negative mind will say that failure has occurred or maybe the plan was not executed properly.  

 Our mind a wonderful organ, but often it steers us into believing we are less than what we were made to be.  We are of the Divine and are capable of so much.  What grows is what gets our time and attention.  If the attention is directed to meaningless tasks, what can grow from it?  A tired, stressed mind and body.  Often, time is spent in mundane or useless ways that does not bring forth fruit. How our time is spent says a lot about our character.

 We are born with nothing, and we will leave with nothing.  It’s what we do in between that matters most.  I believe each of us was born with a specific purpose and gifts to contribute to the world and can make it a better place for others.  

 “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5).

 All people are made in the image of God.  Each of us are born with a purpose and calling that we can discover or completely miss.  Influencing of the Holy Spirit in our lives gives us insight to His purposes for us.  We find peace and courage when we sense the confirmation of the Spirit that we are in the right place at the right time of our designated calling.  We can be on the right path or completely off the road.  

 We are made to be resilient and withstand the difficulties in life.  We are called to respond with graciousness, love and compassion to not only others, but to ourselves.  When struggles and difficulties come, and they will, it’s not those circumstances that define us, but how we respond to those circumstances.  One can choose to be thankful for the treasures and blessings given by our Lord, or choose to be down trodden, angry and resentful of the hardships.  

 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).

 Anxiety and depression are often symptoms of inner struggles. Society deems to place boundaries on our minds and our lives leaving unrest.  It’s easier to be busy and a taskmaster than to take the time to just BE. Be alone with your creator and ask those difficult questions and listen for the answers.  Each of us have wounds.  There’s no way to be in this world without encountering wounds or suffering hardships.  That’s life.

 Here’s the good news….Life is abundant!  There’s a newness each and every day.  It’s a time to rejoice and praise our loving Jesus for all he has provided.  Start each day with a grateful heart.  Count the blessings, one by one.  Turn off the negativity in the brain and start to live your purpose.  Make this day one to remember.  Bless everyone you see with a smile, a prayer, or a hug.  “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”  (Psalm 118:24).

Health Bite: Slow down….experience abundance!