Super Powers

For decades, people have idolized superheros for their strength and desire to right the wrongs in society. They swoop in when the “bad guys” are taking advantage of the weak or the innocent to save the day. Hollywood continues to make movies that create more of what we want to see: action, adventure, and the feeling that all is better in the world. We all need a superhero in our life to bring hope and encouragement.

I began to wonder, what if each of us could be a superhero? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Wouldn’t this world be a better place to live? There are those people we meet in life that can be easily identified as having super powers. These superheros, I’ll call them, have a desire to help people in need, rescue the forgotten, or spread kindness to a neighborhood. What comes naturally to them, and without effort, are extraordinary thoughts for others.

Recently, in the little town of Colonial Beach, signs suddenly appeared in yards and on streets with a simple message to spread kindness and build community. It seems simple, but the impact has been very well received. Often people just need to be reminded of something important in life rather than be told. These signs represent a reminder of just that: Be kind and build community.

The idea started in California by a real estate agent and then moved to the east coast. Edward Hart is a super hero in the Colonial Beach community. A friend gave him a sign, and he posted it in his yard. Then, one of Edward’s neighbors asked where he had gotten the sign. Apparently, her son, who has disabilities, was being bullied, so she asked if she could have a sign too. This sparked Edward to take action, and signs began to appear in yards throughout the community. He began this campaign weeks ago by simply posting signs all around the Town of Colonial Beach. Suddenly, posts on social media took off and other residents were wanting to know how they could get a sign too. I was particularly delighted to see a sign in my yard when I pulled into my driveway recently.

What this means to me is taking down the walls and barriers that divide us. Why don’t people treat people well? Fear of differences is one reason that comes to mind. While I can understand that folks want to hold onto their values and beliefs, the problem enters when love isn’t extended. Instead of listening and quietly disagreeing, people begin arguing the rights or wrongs of a position. Two people talking/arguing, but no ears are listening—division happens.

Another reason I think division happens is due to a low self-esteem. When someone doesn’t feel good about themselves, they often become a bully in a poor attempt to build themselves up to feeling something more. Getting to the root of the problem is paramount for the bully to begin healing from the brokenness in their own life. Other reasons division happens could be jealously or hurts from past experiences. Not everyone we meet in life has to be our best friend. As a matter of fact, we will meet people in which our roads will cross and there is something to be learned from that interaction. But even with differences, kindness and love can be shown to those we meet. What would it mean in your own life to extend kindness and build community to someone you don’t particularly like?

Building community starts with a smile and a friendly gesture. It can mean volunteering to support the community in which you live. It can mean taking a meal or groceries to someone who needs them. It can be sharing coffee with someone who needs a friend to talk to. What does building community mean to you?

Each one of us has a superpower. What’s yours? Are you brave enough to employ it? What’s holding you back? Perhaps those negative thoughts prevent that superpower from emerging. Thoughts like, what will other’s think? Or, It really won’t make a difference. Pride, ego, and lack of self-worth are poison to a superpower.

One person can make a difference, and everyone should try—John F. Kennedy

In my own life, I’ve noticed how people can be so kind and sweet to strangers, yet treat those closest to them unwell. Superheros have bad days too, but their heart is for others rather than themselves. The practice of extending love and grace gets easier the more it’s practiced. Today, I invite you to explore your superhero powers. Make a difference in a life. Go—Spread Kindness and Build Community.

Health Bite: Find and exercise your superpower.

Decisions, decisions...

A little over a year ago, I traveled to a strange and wonderous place.  One of my girlfriends invited me for a weekend at her cottage by the river.  What I’ve learned about myself in recent years is that I’m spontaneous and adventurous, so I happily accepted.  Little did I know how much this weekend would change my life. Another thing I’ve come to realize is how each decision directs the pathway in which we go.  It could be minor decision as to which store to shop that could make a huge shift in directions.  

I hadn’t seen Shannon in years.  I happened to be shopping at one of those box stores when we ran into each other.  She told me she had heard about Joe and was sorry.  Told me she and her husband purchased a cottage and asked if I’d like to join her one weekend.  As with most invitations to go places, I thought it would never happen.  Shannon proved me wrong.  We met a few more times to reconnect and finally ended up at the river in her beautiful cottage.  

The decision to go with Shannon saved my life.  My way in dealing with stress and heartache is to get busy and stay that way.  If I were busy, I didn’t have to think about what else was going on.  How many times can you clean a house?  What else can I say “Yes” to?  How many days can I get to the gym?  That was my life.  My goal was to be so exhausted that I didn’t have to think of anything else other than sleep.  It was working, so I thought.

 Shannon and I went to Colonial Beach and stayed at her and her husband’s home by the Potomac River. One of the first things we did was take a golf cart ride.  Shannon drove all over the place explaining the history and viewing the water and all the lovely homes.  Shannon, by the way, is a wonderful tour guide.  She began to explain how she came to discover Colonial Beach and why she chose to go there.  Only a year of sporadic weekends, Shannon already knew so many people by name.  I was impressed.  She showed me all the homes that were for sale and how the town was beginning to turn around.

 We dined at a local seafood restaurant and relaxed by the water.  I went for a run and really took in the peacefulness of the place.  We were invited later that evening to a party on a pier.   I had never been on a pier to party, only to fish or lay out.  It was another choice that directly affected my life.  That choice to meet new people, enjoy music, and relax was what I was missing.  Community is what Colonial Beach is.  That’s what I experienced and that’s what I wanted.  Everyone was so friendly and seemed interested in who I was, not what I am. This community truly gives.

 What I realized is that giving is so necessary in our quest in sustaining joy.  Giving of time, energy, and assets bring much fruit back to the giver.  Just over a year ago, I purchased a house at Colonial Beach.  What I now realize is that more than the house purchase, what I cherish most is the community.  I purchased the community of Colonial Beach.  I’ve been a part of some really awesome volunteering opportunities.  The volunteers make this small beach community come alive with music, arts, and activities for all ages.  

My life would be different had I not ran into Shannon on that day.  I believe everything happens for a reason and a purpose.  At the time, it’s often difficult to see the lessons to be learned, especially if those experiences are difficult.  Think about the choices in life.  How will it affect the future?  Are you saying “Yes” to opportunities in growth?  No one should stay still in life.  Life is a fluid motion for growth and chances.  What will you say “Yes” to?  In what areas can you use some growth?

 Health bite:  Even small decisions can have a huge impact on life.

Friends

There is no such thing as having too many friends. Friends are people who come along in life just at the right time. They are there during the good times and bad times. Friends love and support us when we are grumpy and are difficult to be around. We laugh, cry, share heartaches and joys, or just sit in silence with us. Friends are a necessary part of life. I don’t think it’s good to be alone for long periods of time. I often think if each of us has just one good friend we can tell all our secrets to, we wouldn’t need counselors.

For me, my ability to keep up with friends was difficult during periods of time when the family was young and growing up. I have been guilty with not carving out time to connect with friends and found that excuses and busyness came easily. Work, marriage, children, and a household monopolized my time. Guilty!

Each friendship brings something different to the table. For me, I have friends that I can shop with, others that enjoy going out to eat, and there are those that seem to know intuitively that something is wrong and won’t let up until the beans are spilled. I have friends I can share my deepest secrets with while others I can share spiritual experiences with. Depending on the circumstances going on in life depends on the person I choose to contact. We are a body of people, and we all need support.

Family is family and that bond needs attention. We can not choose our family, but we get to choose our friends. Those relationships, even when time and distance is between them, can catch up so quickly. Is that how it is with you? I can be months or years since the last heart-to-heart, yet in an instance, that bond that was created years ago, quickly appears. 

There are times when I think I’m bothering my girl friends by asking them to get together, but I have found they really need me as much as I need them. It’s good to get away from the normal routines and just talk as men or women. There are subjects that only a person with the same gender can understand.  I’m not pretending to know what guys need, because I don’t. I do know they need guy friends just as much as gals need gal friends. Even when life is busy, take time to get together with your friends. They miss you!

Health bite: Friends are a necessary part of our social balance