Another Relationship
What do you think about when you hear the word relationship? There are many types of relationships, like those with a spouse or significant partner, children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. However, the relationship I’m thinking about today is the one related to food. Most people don’t correlate food as a relationship, but for many, it’s an unhealthy balance. Food is often used as a substitute or a bridge for emotional distress, loneliness, fatigue, or any other psychological issue. Rarely is obesity and overeating related to hunger. Rather, the overindulgence and binging, or on the other spectrum, bulimia or anorexia is using food for another means. Not nourishment.
What do you think about when you hear the word relationship? There are many types of relationships, like those with a spouse or significant partner, children, grandchildren, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. However, the relationship I’m thinking about today is the one related to food. Most people don’t correlate food as a relationship, but for many, it’s an unhealthy balance. Food is often used as a substitute or a bridge for emotional distress, loneliness, fatigue, or any other psychological issue. Rarely is obesity and overeating related to hunger. Rather, the overindulgence and binging, or on the other spectrum, bulimia or anorexia is using food for another means. Not nourishment.
According to the Mayo Clinic, emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions. Major life events or even daily hassles can trigger a response to impulsive or binge eating. This type of eating is consuming with convenience and without enjoyment. In short, it’s satisfying a deep emotional trigger. Food is meant to nourish our body and provide the essentials to maintain health. When food becomes anything else, there is imbalance. It’s important to get back on track as soon as possible, however, first it will be important to ask yourself what your relationship with food is…..
ADDICTED FROM THE START
We have used food as a reward system for decades. I’m guilty of giving my daughter a Tic Tac when she peed in the potty. Parents and adults, alike, use sweets to encourage children to behave, not realizing that this behavior conditions them that a reward is necessary when a task has been completed. Have you ever “rewarded” yourself with some type of treat after completing a challenging task? I have! It then becomes a slippery slope of rewards vs. cravings vs. stress & emotions. Our relationship with food then becomes foggy and confusing. It’s not necessary to “treat” ourselves with every accomplishment, especially with food. I think it’s more special to celebrate those big achievements, like a new job or promotion. If we “treat” ourselves every week, those big moments don’t seem as special.
MINDFUL VS. MINDLESS EATING
I’m as guilty as the next person with mindless eating. My weakness is corn chips. If someone opens a bag, I will likely help myself to a few…then a few more. Without knowing it, I’ve eating half the bag. Now that’s mindless eating. Mindful eating is siting with food, looking at, thinking about, and giving thanks for that food you are about to consume. What a nice practice to thank the animal or plant for providing sustenance to the body by sacrificing theirs. In this way, our system is relaxed and ready for the digestion process to begin. Eating in a hurry or while multi-tasking compromises the digestive process, thereby, often times leaving food in the stomach longer than it should.
GET BACK ON TRACK
The first step is to acknowledge the difference between emotional eating and hunger. One easy way to tell the difference is this:
Physical hunger can be pushed off for a period of time. Emotional hunger can’t be satisfied until you eat what it is you are craving.
o Keeping a food journal has been helpful for many of my clients. It helps a person be aware of eating times and what it is that’s being consumed. It helps to bring food back into balance.
o Take away temptations by not bringing junky or sugary foods into the house. Instead fill the frig with healthier options.
o Take away boredom. Develop some hobbies, exercise, or visit with a friend or neighbor.
o Develop a support network. Lean on family and friends or hire a health coach.
o Mange the stress in life and learn what those triggers are.
o Make new relationships in your life. Go out and be around people. Seek to find joy, peace, and love in the world in which you live.
Health Bite: Find balance in your relationship with food.
New Year’s Goals? Resolutions? Intentions…
Happy New Year! It’s a new beginning, another chapter, or season in life. This is the time many people make resolutions about weight loss or exercise routines. The media knows it too. It’s a time that commercials for new diet plans and gym memberships and equipment are “on sale.”
Happy New Year! It’s a new beginning, another chapter, or season in life. This is the time many people make resolutions about weight loss or exercise routines. The media knows it too. It’s a time that commercials for new diet plans and gym memberships and equipment are “on sale.” Even though those resolutions are for the good, they seem to disappear after only a few days or weeks.
Rather than setting unachievable goals, why not set an intention or two? First, let’s talk about goals. When I first meet with a client, I ask them to set SMART goals. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time bound. For me, it’s a visual way to see progress, however, the goals seem to change and move throughout our work together. Goals help us see the future and better understand what we want, create a plan, and to stay on track into the future. However, it does take us out of the present moment and emphasizes on what we don’t already have. One of the disadvantages of setting goals is the feeling of failure if the perceived goal is not met. That emotional disappointment can be debilitating and for many, keeping them from trying again.
SETTING THE INTENTION
Perhaps setting intentions is a better way of making those life-long changes. By setting intentions, we are living and focused on the moment or present. It’s a way to recognize our own value system, raises the emotional energy, thereby raising the physical energy. By understanding and living our own values, we take back our power and are happier individuals. Intentions give us a purpose and inspire us to achieve our purpose. This is a life changing routine with limitless possibilities. Setting intentions can be done all day long. It can start with a thought of the day with going to work and how you will greet every person you come in contact with. It can be in your car with the intention to be present and accident free to your destination. It can be before going to a party and not indulging in foods that will not serve you well. By making intentions throughout the day, you are living in the moment rather than the future or the past.
Intentions create a purpose of who you want to be and what you would like to contribute to the world and those around you. How will you choose to touch others in your life? We live in a society that says get things done and check it off the list. However, there is more power in opening the mind and heart to receiving clarity, inspiration and guidance toward purpose.
Goals can keep our mind on restrictions and perceived problems and will often take our focus off of something that has a positive impact on life. Try voicing the intentions by clearly stating how you intend to feel today rather than wishing things were different, or that you felt better. Take back your personal power.
BE PRESENT IN LIFE
We miss much in life due to distractions and thoughts of the past and the future. Have you ever been so absorbed in thought you didn’t know where you were or what was going on around you? Observing the little wonders of the world can provide many benefits and shift your perspective in a moment. It’s easy to get caught up in our work, so make a point to stop occasionally and notice what you smell, what you see, what your body is saying to you. Notice if there is sun or rain. Can you see trees or flowers? Who is around you? What do you hear?
Many of us feel powerless in the global context, but small changes will result in large differences. Setting an intention to make a difference can open the mind to ideas and opportunities to do so. It may shift an old perspective that wasn’t serving you into a new idea. It’s so empowering. Take a moment and recite your intentions of the day and share your observations in the comments below.
Health Bite: Show up in your own life today by setting intentions.
Mothering
My mother loved being outside more than being indoors. She spent much of the spring, summer and fall planting a garden and harvesting its produce. When I was a little girl, I remember many days spent rolling around in the grass, jumping rope, and swinging on my play set. My mother would say, “Why would anyone be inside when they can be outside?” Perhaps that’s why I love being outside so much. I learned to appreciate the sun, the air, and earth early in life.
My mother loved being outside more than being indoors. She spent much of the spring, summer and fall planting a garden and harvesting its produce. When I was a little girl, I remember many days spent rolling around in the grass, jumping rope, and swinging on my play set. My mother would say, “Why would anyone be inside when they can be outside?” Perhaps that’s why I love being outside so much. I learned to appreciate the sun, the air, and earth early in life. Although, if I were honest, I haven’t appreciated it all my life. There were years I didn’t go hiking or take the time to really appreciate how special the outdoors is; but I worked in the yard with flowers and landscape design while my children were young. For me, being in touch with the earth is like being home. It feels warm, comforting, and loving. Mother Earth, is important to each of us. We all were made from dust, by God, and we will return to dust. Life happens in between.
One of the best snorkeling trips I encoutered was in Belize with my family in 2015, ten months before my husband died. It was the best vacation we ever spent as a family, and one I will never forget. But yesterday, I went snorkeling in the Caribbean. The crystal blue water with its gentle waves that bring life and food to the undersea creatures is stunning. As I was floating along, I began to think about all the people who had done this before me, here in this spot. People who have seen the same fish, the same coral, and felt the gentle waves or even perhaps lost a flipper. As I watched the fish eating around the rocks and coral, I thought about their lives. They were once a minnow and before that an egg. Even earlier was a mother and a father. Life is a cycle that continues unnoticed by most people, including me.
Mindfulness is an exercise in which thought has purpose in the present time and the moment in which time is occurring now. Most people either live in the past or in the future, which is sad. Time cannot be regained once it is lost, yet unless mindfulness is exercised, time will simply disappear. There is only so much time given to each person and how we spend it matters. Sometimes it’s necessary to cut out things or people in life that no longer serve us well. Moving away from what is normal and comfortable isn’t easy. But if someone brings you down, then it’s time to let that relationship go. If your job is so stressful that it’s affecting your family in a negative way, it’s time to let it go. New beginnings can be scary because it’s unknown, but what if we can call it something else? Like an opportunity? I don’t think our short life wants us to stay stuck in a job, a relationship, or health related problems that isn’t serving us today. As we advance in age, we should also advance in life. I believe we should continue to strive for greater self until we die.
What in life isn’t serving you at this moment? Sometimes we stay too long in a situation because of fear. Fear will paralyze a person from moving forward. I can attest to that as well. There are ideas I want to move forward with, but fear of failure keeps me from trying. Pride and fear together are an ugly duo that will stop anyone in their tracks. I have a plaque in my house that reads: Be Fearless. I look at it often, smile and acknowledge my own weakness. The awareness of one’s weakness is often all it takes to gain the courage to move. Even if the movement is slight, it’s okay so long as it’s a forward movement. There comes a time when a season or a phase is complete and it’s time to move on. There is no benefit to staying in the situation. As for me, I continue to make steps toward those ideas and bite my lip in the process. Shake off the old and welcome the new. There’s no need to rush into anything, but take the time necessary to adjust to the new idea and change that is forthcoming.
Take the time to find those centering and grounding moments. Life is only a blink. I’m so lucky, as are you, to have a new 24 hours each day to spend it anyway I choose. My mother instilled the love of the outdoors in me, and I will forever be grateful to her. Mother Earth has taught me to be still, quiet, and accept her love.
Health Bite: Be present today in your own life